A Letter to Your Child


Right after she died, I wrote a letter to my daughter.

There were so many things that were on my mind, my head was simply spinning with all of the things that I had to tell her.

Although I know that she will not be able to read my letter, the process of writing it has been both eye-opening and uplifting.

As has been said time and again, grief is an individual thing. The journey that we each make after a loss is unique and personal. Writing, journaling, and documenting your grief story can be a big part of finding the path to a healthy resolution of your grief.

Telling the story of your bereavement validates your loss. It brings to light the unspoken thoughts and feelings that you have been contemplating, allowing you to view them from a place of perspective. If the only eyes that ever read your words are your own, you will have taken strides in your grief journey.

How to begin? Well, all you need is some paper and a pen. If you are able to find a quiet place, all the better. Begin your writing in the form of a letter, address your lost loved one directly; write to them. The writing process takes on a life of its own. As you commit your thoughts and feelings to paper, you are unlocking doors in your mind; unleashing your grief. This will help you shed some light on any issues that you are having, on things that require more attention.

The beauty of writing is that it can be done anywhere, without a moment of notice. You can write about the highs and the lows, the happy and the sad times, you can take a moment to simply say that you miss your loved one. When you write to your loved one, you begin a dialogue with them that allows you to complete some unfinished business.

Write a letter, keep a journal, tell the story of your loved one’s life. Compile all the thoughts and dreams that you have held inside since your loss.

Acclaimed author, Martha Whitmore Hickman wrote:

“In the months after my daughter’s death, I filled four notebooks with entries – writing sometimes daily, sometimes several times a day, sometimes only once in several days. I described feelings, the events of the day, occasions of recall, of sorrow and hope. It was a means of moving the grief away, getting it down somewhere else, siphoning it off.”

Writing is not for everyone, but should you give it a try you may find that it allows you the ability to work through some of your grief.