The Grief of Mother’s Day


For Mother’s Day, there will be gatherings and celebrations honoring mothers. Families will come together to toast their moms on this special day and shower her with gifts and love.

But what of the families who are immersed in grief this Mother’s Day? What about those who have lost their mother? What about the bereaved mother who has just experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth? What of the parents whose child of any age has died?

Mother’s Day is a joyous and wonderful holiday for most people, but the reality for some can be quite different in the face of loss. It does not have to be an awkward situation, and there is something that you can do to help ease the pain and get through this holiday.

When you lose someone you love, every holiday can become a nightmare of anxiety and tension on top of the crushing anguish you are already feeling because your loved one is not here with you to celebrate. Mother’s Day is no exception. Here are some suggestions for coping yourself or supporting your friends who are facing this Mother’s Day without their mother, or their child.

Lending support to the bereaved on Mother’s Day

  • Call, visit, write a letter, or send a card letting them know you are remembering their mother or their child with them this year. Simple acts of kindness like these do not have to be elaborate – but they should speak from your heart.
  • Plant a tree or sponsor a tree at a local garden in loving memory.
  • Plant a flower garden in their memory.
  • Donate your time. Visit a local nursing home visiting with the elderly who might be forgotten by their own families on Mother’s Day. If you sing, play an instrument, play cards, or just like to talk – you will brighten someone’s day.
  • Donate toys, clothing, and books. Purchase new items, take up a collection to do so, or collect used items (in good condition) from families in your neighborhood and bring them to your local children’s charity in honor of a child who has died.
  • Donate to a charity that provides support and services for families who have lost a child, or serves a specific disorder that might have taken the life of a mother or a child.
  • Have a balloon release! Send your love up above and take pictures to commemorate the event.
  • Buy a special piece of jewelry with the gemstone of the deceased.
  • Host a barbecue with everyone who is missing someone this Mother’s Day and incorporate a memorial event into the day.
  • Take an old photo you might have of the deceased and frame it as a gift for the family.

The ideas are only limited by your imagination.

There are so many ways to support each other when you are hurting this Mother’s Day. The goodwill that is created by honoring the deceased and supporting each other is immeasurable. So, if you are fortunate enough to have your mother with you this year, please enjoy and honor her on Mother’s Day. But for those around you who might be missing their mother, or feeling like their status as a mother is lost with their child who died, take a moment to let them know that you remember and you care.