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For most of our lives, before we reach the age of even thinking about children, we know without reservation that we will have children.  There is never a question of if we will be able to.  We talk about how many we will have, how many of each gender and what we will name them when they arrive as though it was the simplest thing and simply a matter of course.  We are raised expecting to have a family.  When we get older that version of the future does not really change for many people.  Many people still are able to see all of this to fruition... 

...They will get pregnant, and 40 weeks later they will have a baby, the baby will be healthy and they will bring their baby home.  Unfortunately, this is not the case for everyone.  For some of us, that picture of a life comes to a screeching halt with the news that the baby we are carrying will not be ok.  Learning that the much-wanted child you are carrying has a serious disorder or abnormality that will cost them their life is simply unfathomable.  What do you mean my baby will die?  Why our baby?  How did this happen?  The questions begin to fill your head faster than you can voice them.  Answers are sometimes harder to come by, or even to understand.

Learning about your baby's diagnosis before they are born puts you in a unique position, to say the least.  Knowing that the outcome will be horrible regardless of anything you might do is of little consolation right now.  Know that you are not alone.  Understand that knowledge is power.  Understanding the intricacies of your baby's condition will allow you to plan for the arrival of your baby with more control.  You can begin thinking about your options in continuing your pregnancy or whether termination is the right course for you.  Depending upon how far along you are in your pregnancy, either of these options has their own list of possiblities.  You can use the time you have now to locate others who have received the same diagnosis, learn what they have done and why, and get support in this most difficult time.

Taking control of what little you can today will help ease the feelings of despair and isolation that might creep in.  Preparing for your baby's birth now, regardless of the circumstances of your delivery, will give you opportunities to make memories and save momentos that are just so wonderful to have after your baby has gone.  It also allows you to bring your family and friends closer to your baby, which will benefit everyone in coming to terms with your loss.

If you are currently pregnant with a child who is not expected to survive, please know that we understand and share a deeply heartfelt anguish.  Please consider joining our free community support program, where you can share your story and find others who have been there, or who are also currently preparing to say goodbye to their precious child.  There is nothing easy about walking this path, but you do not have to walk it alone.