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On behalf of the board and volunteers at RTF, I'd like to extend a warm thank you to all who made it to our Butterfly Release and Summer Remembrance Event on Saturday, June 21st.  It is truly an honor to be able to remember our children together, and hopefully there was some joy found as well, in coming together as a group and seeing with your eyes that you are not alone.  It was a beautiful day; the sun peeped through the trees and made for a cool and inviting setting, and there wasn't a cloud in the morning sky!  It was also the first time for folks to see our new memorial walls.

People traveled quite a distance to attend our event, coming from the mountains, Northern Colorado, and neighboring states to be a part of our first Butterfly Release and Remembrance Event.  The children being remembered were from around the globe - from all across the state of Colorado, the USA, Canada, Poland, and the UK. 

We honored babies who never took a breath, whose time here extended mere moments, hours, days, and even many years.  The testament to the love a parent has for their child who has died at any age teaches us that no matter how little or great the time is that we had with our children, it will never be enough.  Our thoughts and energy went out into the world as their names were read aloud.

This was the first time that many of us had been a part of a butterfly release, and it was simply amazing to witness.  Butterflies are symbolic on so many levels, and of course there is an undeniable link to grief in a lot of ways.  During the memorial ceremony, I spoke about the transformative nature of grief, and how that is so evident when compared to a butterfly.  A butterfly begins as a rather common creature.  With respect to all caterpillars, they are usually unnoticed, rarely fussed over, and generally unobserved.  Their caterpillar colors give no hint to the spectacular riot of brilliant colors that will eventually emerge, making them such a changed being.

It is similar with grief.  Deep loss or trauma is life changing.  Often we are unaware of so much of our daily life and views and priorities before the loss - the death of your child is nothing if not completely foundation-shattering.  While it will never be okay that your child has died, it will never be acceptable that they are gone and you are torn apart, it is okay to embrace and cherish the positive changes and growth that do and will continue to develop as a result. 

When your loss is new, and the grief and pain are simply incredibly raw - it is hard to imagine feeling positive.  But the changes are there.  It is not often so visible as the changes we can see through the metamorphosis that creates a butterfly, but it is real, and we know deep inside how altered we have become.

 The other aspect of butterflies that I feel relates to grief, and in particular the death of a child, is silence.  When you go in to give birth to your baby, it isn't supposed to be quiet.  The silence of the room when a child is born still is awful.  The lack of a cry when a baby is born alive but struggling is terrible and heartwrenching.  The sound of a home that was once filled with the noises of an older child but now echoes only emptiness is a constant reminder of what was.  It is a thing that is typically expressed as an afterthought in most settings, and yet silence becomes a major player in the world of grief and loss.  For the butterfly release, I wrote a few lines to express that connection:

The memorial concluded with the release of more than 85 beautiful, large, bright orange monarch butterflies.  It was so uplifting!  It was a perfect way to end our solemn remembrance, and brought yet another comparison of loss and release to the image of grief.

The reception afterward was equally nice.  A yummy breakfast just down the road on the patio at The Pinery Country Club made it easy to sit and relax, gather, and chat - and simply enjoy the incredible weather on a beautiful Colorado Summer morning.

If you were able to attend our memorial event, we would love to hear your feedback! 
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